


A Catch In My Throat

by dysphorie



Series: 4/7 [4]
Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt, because jim is an idiot who has Feelings with a capital F, not really a drabble or ficlet but not a proper fic either, very minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22138153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dysphorie/pseuds/dysphorie
Summary: Tumblr prompt fill: "Things you said when you thought I was asleep."Or, Jim's not as asleep as Mick thinks he is...
Relationships: Jim Root/Mick Thomson
Series: 4/7 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1452952
Comments: 24
Kudos: 36





	A Catch In My Throat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bepreparedf0rhell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bepreparedf0rhell/gifts).



> So, on tumblr I was prompted by the lovely person this fic is gifted to to write a fic with Jim and Mick, and the prompt, "Things you said when you thought I was asleep". This is what I came up with. I hope they, and all of you, enjoy.

_ "I didn't mean for any of this to happen." _

Mick’s voice rumbles into the empty air of the room, barely above a whisper but clear to Jim’s ears, sleepy as he is. Sleepy but wide awake, as usual, insomnia Jim's eternal fucking co-pilot. He blinks into the darkness. Something about the tone and volume of Mick's voice tells him he wasn't supposed to hear that. 

There's an audible sniff, and Jim's heart flips because he  _ definitely  _ wasn't meant to hear that. Mick doesn't  _ do _ things like Showing Emotion In Front Of Other Humans, something Jim kinda envies cos he kinda feels like he does nothing  _ but _ have emotions at people all the time. Mick mumbles something, too low for Jim to catch this time. This is weird. Mick doesn’t do things like this -

_ "I didn't  _ want _ any of this to happen," _ Mick murmurs, and Jim's heart feels like it's about to fall out his ass until Mick continues.  _ "That's not true. I wanted it. Just...didn't wanna admit I wanted it. Or maybe I didn't want this much. I don't fucking know. I just…ugh." _

He huffs out a sigh that manages to sound irritated and frustrated, mumbling something that horrifically sounds a lot like _feelings_ and almost a word that starts with _L_ and _oh_ _shit_ , Mick wouldn't be saying _any_ of this if he knew Jim was awake. This is stuff he's never broken breath to Jim about before. Sure Jim's always _hoped_ Mick had feelings for him that extend beyond _"This is my long-term bandmate whose ass I occasionally stick my dick in",_ but he's never let himself linger on it for fear of upsetting himself. Well, more than usual.

Mick's voice filters back through the static fuzz that's filled Jim's ears.  _ Shit _ , what did he miss??  _ "- and I don't know how to tell you, because you just...you mean so much to me but I -  _ fuck _! I can't…" _ another heavy sigh, and this one tickles the back of his neck.  _ "You wouldn't understand…" _

Panic starts to tingle in Jim’s chest, and it takes serious effort to keep his breathing level, close his eyes again, do everything he can to maintain the facade of sleep. Because that’s the only explanation;  _ Mick doesn’t know Jim’s still awake _ , and finding out now, after he's already made himself vulnerable, would be devastating. 

_ "I wish I could tell you. But I kinda hope you never find out…" _

But Jim wants to talk to him. Mick sounds so - so  _ angry _ . Angry and resentful and...sad. Jim's never heard Mick sound sad before. It breaks his heart and he wants to roll over and throw his arms around him, kiss him til their lips swell and tell him that he doesn't care how Mick feels about him in the grand scheme of things. That above all else he just wants Mick to be happy, and if that's with Jim? That's great. With someone else? Okay, less great, but Jim's not an idiot. He'll just savour the time they have together all the same. He could roll over now, tell Mick to shut up and stop worrying and kiss him until he believes that Jim doesn't care.

...But that would just make things worse. Mick would be so embarrassed if he knew all the things he thought he was sharing with the ether had been heard by the one person he wanted to keep them from.

He can't make out what Mick's saying now, his voice muffled like it's pushed into the pillow. Mick makes a noise that sounds something like a quiet bellow, if such a thing could happen. Jim bites his lip, the urge to comfort Mick stronger than ever.

Then there's rough fingertips and more hot breaths tufting against Jim's bare back, tracing aimless circles that make Jim want to purr and arch into the touch. Wants to lie back and let Mick explore his body slowly, lazily, like they have all the time in the world, because now Jim's wondering: just how much time  _ do  _ they have? Is Mick working out their inevitable expiration date already? The thought makes his lip tremble, tears pricking his eyes. 

Mick's touch has lightened, and Jim's breath catches in his throat when he thinks he's going to take his hand away completely. There's just one finger left touching him now. 

It works it's way from the point of one shoulder to the other, across the wings of his shoulder blades and the gentle ridges of his spine, and Jim has to turn his hoarse sob into a fake snore when he realises. Mick, his man of few words and fewer emotions, who blushes at the slightest compliment and shows affection with his teeth, is telling Jim everything he has ever wanted to hear, in his own inimitable way. All the words he can't say, written there clearly in silence, invisible words on Jim's skin.

By the time Mick's hand stops moving, settles on Jim's waist as Mick shifts closer to him, stroking his ribcage, Jim's fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> dysphorie-dot-png.tumblr.com


End file.
